Joy - Blog

FRIDAY, MARCH 18, 2011

GUEST EDITORIAL #1

This just in from my good friend (and fabulously stylish woman) Beth Crookham. Beth is a producer, for all intents and purposes, on One Tree Hill and has become a great friend of mine over the years. She is well-travelled, a super smarty-pants, and one of the most giving & compassionate people I've ever met.

While she certainly could share a wealth of knowledge on a variety of subjects, for her first blog she chose to dip her toes into the topic of Fashion and how it relates to how we view of ourselves as women.

Without further ado, take it away, Beth...

(or as Antwon calls her, "SexyBef")

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When Joy asked me to help fill in on her blog while she’s busy being a new mom, I was honored and a little terrified. I’ve never written a blog and I love her writing so the pressure was on. Add to that the fact that she gave me free reign on topic so now the world was my oyster (which for me is overwhelming). For those of you who don’t know me, I’m the “Beth” that Joy mentioned a few weeks ago in her blog about collecting art. So it seemed appropriate that I write about another favorite art form of mine, fashion.

The idea fully formed one morning watching one of my favorite shows, “What Not To Wear.” This particular episode really stayed with me. The transformation of the woman they were working with was amazing. She was married and the mother of two young children and had a blog that was blossoming into public appearances and other opportunities. What was so striking to me was the complete lack of confidence she had in herself. She actually said that the only messages she gave to herself were negative ones. She had nothing positive to say directly to herself. And this is where this show is such a favorite for me…the hosts took this moment to care about her, to show compassion and provide positive reinforcement. They make it clear that the most important thing is that she is perfectly wonderful just the way she is. It’s the clothes that need changing, not her. The show could be thought of just as lessons in fashion but I see it as lessons in the messages we give others and ourselves. For better or worse we live in a society that is quick to judge and our outward appearance sets the tone for how we are perceived from the start. The perception from others then affects how we feel about ourselves.

Fashion is one of those things that seems quite overwhelming to many. If you walk into a department store or even a “big box” store there are sooooo many options. Picking out what to wear has always been a fun task for me but I know lots of people who find it stressful and just opt out rather than really trying. Their thought is that what they wear really doesn’t matter. That’s not true. Everyone feels better when they’re wearing something they know looks good on them. Some body types are much more challenging to dress than others because “fashion trends” cater to certain body shapes but that doesn’t mean it’s not possible for everyone to find things that look good on them. The time you spend in shopping for your clothes and then the time you take to put outfits together each day should be looked on as opportunities to give love to yourself. In the process of figuring out what to wear you are assessing how you’re feeling that day and acknowledging yourself.

If you are shop-a-phobic, try teaming up with a friend whose style you like and who enjoys the shopping process. Then, allow your friend to guide you. I challenge you to let your friend pick out some outfits for you and just try them on. You don’t have to buy them; just try them on. I reiterate, you don’t have to buy it but do try it. Other people can help push you out of your comfort zone and get you to experiment. This is how you expand your understanding of what could work on your body. I have actually been through this myself. When I was in my early 30s I was traveling a lot for work and in our down time my colleague and I would shop, TJ Maxx was our favorite! She would make me try on things I would never have worn in a million years. I remember being in a Betsey Johnson boutique (if you don’t know Betsey Johnson let’s just say it’s not Banana Republic) and she made me try on half the store and I ended up purchasing this amazing strapless dress with pink lace overlay and wore it for years. I started to stretch my understanding of what I could wear and realized I was dressing like I was in my 50s (my usual outfit was boot cut jeans and a solid colored top sometimes with a scarf for “flare”) and it was time to shake things up. It took me a little while to find a new sense of my own style but once I got there it really became fun!!

Like in the episode I was watching, this message of loving ourselves and taking time to care about how we “package” ourselves is so important, especially in a pop-culture that sets an impossible standard for women. This is how I do it. Most mornings I have an idea of one specific thing I’m looking forward to wearing, it might be shoes or a scarf or a jacket or even a handbag or maybe just a particular color. The idea can come from the temperature outside to what I have to do that day or maybe just a thought that comes to me while I’m getting ready. That one thing expresses a lot about what kind of day I think I might have and then I build from there (I do get it wrong sometimes and I have been known to go home and change). Hopefully we can all be like the woman on the show that began to see her beautiful self emerge. At the start she couldn’t even look at herself in the mirror and say the phrase “I’m beautiful.” By the end of the week she was boldly making that statement and others that reinforced how confident she was beginning to feel. It was a beauty that came from the inside and she figured out how to express it on the outside so the world could see it too. All this from a few days of fashion… Be boldly beautiful inside and out!!

REFERENCE

http://tlc.discovery.com/videos/what-not-to-wear-mom-blogger-lacks-style.html

CAPTIONS

(caption for Christian Dior Dress)

Fashion designers are artists and their work inspires me. This is an amazing vintage dress from Christian Dior. I found this one and the Norman Norell on this great website thefrock.com

(caption for Norman Norell dress)

Vintage Norman Norell – I WANT THIS DRESS…classic, classic, classic

(caption for Louboutin shoes)

Shoes are an amazing wearable art!! And they fit no matter the time of month. These are sexy, feisty, and gorgeous. I’m actually drooling just a little.

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Find people whose style you’d like to emulate. For me, Kate Moss is always stylish and inspires me.

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Another source for inspiration is this great site called streetpeeper.com. Everyday people showing off their style!